One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
