Nicole vs. Life
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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