So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
