Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
