I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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