I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize