Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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