No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
