She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
