her vagine was all disorganized.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
