i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize