...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
