As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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