who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So squirting runs in the family.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
