it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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