Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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