Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.

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(269): View more from Michigan

when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.

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(239): View more from Florida

Missed another period

(1-239): View more from Florida

I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(647): View more from Ontario

i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'

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(903): View more from Texas

If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Let's have sex in an apple orchard

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(+33): View more from France

I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME

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