Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I hope mine doesn't look like that

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  (250): I hope mine doesn't look like that http://tfl.nu/sndl
  Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (2205)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.

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  (617): I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront. http://tfl.nu/9odf
  Replies (15) Good night (3693) Bad night (686)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations

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  (228): yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations http://tfl.nu/eytk
  Replies (16) Good night (5609) Bad night (586)
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  (914): View more from New York

  fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.

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  (914): fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no. http://tfl.nu/w88c
  Replies (17) Good night (1099) Bad night (5752)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.

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  (678): What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick. http://tfl.nu/v9tv
  Replies (11) Good night (3948) Bad night (1043)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

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  (610): Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can http://tfl.nu/8h8s
  Replies (17) Good night (6179) Bad night (871)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.

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  (303): We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework. http://tfl.nu/20mk
  Replies (7) Good night (1955) Bad night (816)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.

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  (515): In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much. http://tfl.nu/n8ik
  Replies (7) Good night (1838) Bad night (937)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.

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  (715): He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now. http://tfl.nu/ppv0
  Replies (7) Good night (3087) Bad night (911)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.

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  (601): Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce. http://tfl.nu/tk1l
  Replies (6) Good night (535) Bad night (2425)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?

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  (609): LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER? http://tfl.nu/1zq3
  Replies (7) Good night (1089) Bad night (592)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".

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  (360): You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes". http://tfl.nu/hqd9
  Replies (2) Good night (343) Bad night (446)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.

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  (850): I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind. http://tfl.nu/d3v3
  Replies (5) Good night (346) Bad night (649)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?

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  (423): Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail? http://tfl.nu/94aa
  Replies (6) Good night (666) Bad night (223)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot

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  (207): he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot http://tfl.nu/t6zb
  Replies (2) Good night (212) Bad night (572)

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