oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?