Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.

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  (906): The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock. http://tfl.nu/nnn9
  Replies (6) Good night (835) Bad night (3588)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.

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  (513): My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked. http://tfl.nu/x6u7
  Replies (6) Good night (4624) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester

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  (631): OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester http://tfl.nu/vz3v
  Replies (16) Good night (1091) Bad night (4166)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Mom said you looked used

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  (910): Mom said you looked used http://tfl.nu/mdwd
  Replies (5) Good night (1612) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  omg. MEgabus. stoned.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Theres these two guys talking.

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  (815): omg. MEgabus. stoned. (815): Theres these two guys talking. http://tfl.nu/fp55
  Replies (12) Good night (1365) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  We were fucking at break-dick speeds.

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  (416): We were fucking at break-dick speeds. http://tfl.nu/i1r9
  Replies (15) Good night (1943) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.

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  (434): High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world. http://tfl.nu/0gxn
  Replies (3) Good night (761) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.

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  (724): I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser. http://tfl.nu/pdzm
  Replies (6) Good night (503) Bad night (1919)
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  (631): View more from New York

  he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader

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  (631): he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader http://tfl.nu/jd8g
  Replies (6) Good night (757) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him

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  (704): i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him http://tfl.nu/hqgs
  Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.

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  (720): Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag. (303): This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two. http://tfl.nu/02n3
  Replies (2) Good night (762) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We're not piercing ourselves today.

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  (405): We're not piercing ourselves today. http://tfl.nu/89v4
  Replies (3) Good night (441) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?

  (1-504): View more from Louisiana

  That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?

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  (504): Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up? (1-504): That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies? http://tfl.nu/79n3
  Replies (1) Good night (825) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third

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  (607): She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third http://tfl.nu/te0l
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"

  (248): View more from Michigan

  It was 11pm.

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  (248): The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!" (248): It was 11pm. http://tfl.nu/57s5
  Replies (0) Good night (596) Bad night (377)

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