Texts From Last Night

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  (979): View more from Texas

  I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar

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  (979): I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar http://tfl.nu/uc7h
  Replies (53) Good night (3944) Bad night (833)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I need new friends

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  (508): Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag (508): I need new friends http://tfl.nu/z8hc
  Replies (83) Good night (1040) Bad night (7766)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.

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  (847): Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins. http://tfl.nu/vi8m
  Replies (5) Good night (4318) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin

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  (919): He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin http://tfl.nu/8jd6
  Replies (17) Good night (2931) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.

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  (417): Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there. http://tfl.nu/jea6
  Replies (8) Good night (3479) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.

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  (405): We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation. http://tfl.nu/qmhd
  Replies (10) Good night (2344) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  We can Fuck in the shower to save time

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.

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  (262): We can Fuck in the shower to save time (1-262): And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative. http://tfl.nu/wr55
  Replies (5) Good night (1447) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON

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  (917): i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON http://tfl.nu/vk8e
  Replies (5) Good night (744) Bad night (515)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away

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  (401): Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away http://tfl.nu/kl70
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory

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  (216): After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory http://tfl.nu/ao8l
  Replies (6) Good night (859) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.

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  (520): At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget. http://tfl.nu/wj00
  Replies (6) Good night (277) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Since when do you jog?

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs

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  (440): Since when do you jog? (1-440): Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs http://tfl.nu/45rt
  Replies (1) Good night (1193) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey

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  (262): Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey http://tfl.nu/zpaw
  Replies (1) Good night (675) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.

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  (336): When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night. http://tfl.nu/5o01
  Replies (1) Good night (697) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.

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  (940): I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer. http://tfl.nu/cak3
  Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (232)

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