Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  you smoke with your eyes?

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  (203): i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed (787): you smoke with your eyes? http://tfl.nu/xom7
  Replies (8) Good night (2326) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  ...are you coming on to me?

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  (901): I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me. (601): Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly (901): ...are you coming on to me? http://tfl.nu/90vx
  Replies (12) Good night (3315) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...

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  (810): I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work... http://tfl.nu/jjaa
  Replies (30) Good night (6072) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.

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  (908): Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life. http://tfl.nu/04rm
  Replies (63) Good night (1082) Bad night (5240)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.

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  (609): We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready. http://tfl.nu/9xou
  Replies (33) Good night (7642) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  what was i wearing?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nothing

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  (203): you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress' (508): what was i wearing? (203): nothing http://tfl.nu/2bg6
  Replies (22) Good night (14890) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...

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  (303): theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner... http://tfl.nu/glgi
  Replies (24) Good night (1032) Bad night (5265)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.

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  (313): The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two. http://tfl.nu/ya0u
  Replies (31) Good night (6599) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.

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  (626): I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well. http://tfl.nu/o4bp
  Replies (16) Good night (1066) Bad night (2316)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?

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  (202): WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT? http://tfl.nu/xll1
  Replies (13) Good night (1759) Bad night (1838)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized

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  (847): Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized http://tfl.nu/hh8z
  Replies (16) Good night (2575) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am

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  (864): Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am http://tfl.nu/oar5
  Replies (5) Good night (648) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Do you think county jail has a Groupon?

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  (254): Do you think county jail has a Groupon? http://tfl.nu/zc61
  Replies (17) Good night (924) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...

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  (403): So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine... http://tfl.nu/hixx
  Replies (12) Good night (3833) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.

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  (303): He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled. http://tfl.nu/tlei
  Replies (2) Good night (351) Bad night (573)

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