you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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