I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
