Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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