Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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