I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
