I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
