I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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