I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
