YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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