i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
