you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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