...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
