So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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