He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
