There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
