Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
