i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
