what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
