My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
