Kiss
Puke
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
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Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
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Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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