if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize