so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
