I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
