Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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