I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
