I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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