On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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