Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
