I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
