It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
