Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
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He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
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I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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