Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
