He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
