party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
