i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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