are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize