Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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