Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
