Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize