Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
