Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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