I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
