Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
