i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
