Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
