so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize