i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
