I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize