It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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