My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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