my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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